I'm finishing up my undergraduate degree and working part time at a large Fortune 500 company. It feels absolutely incredible to be a productive member of society again. I never thought I would be where I am now a year ago (and so soon!). It's remarkable that a little bit of hard work, determination, and discipline in your life go such a long ways. I'm looking forward to advancing my blossoming career and trying harder than ever to make something of myself.
I still struggle with thoughts about my addiction. Every month or two I'll have a dream where I'm high again and it ends up turning into a nightmare (which I think is a good thing?). I think about using occasionally but those thoughts usually end up in me only reflecting on all the bad times I had while on drugs.
I still regret all the wasted time I spent doing absolutely nothing productive. It's hard seeing your friends further on in life than you are and have to try to explain why you are left behind. I'm working hard to get back where I want to be in life and just taking everything in. I feel ashamed at times about my past but I know that there's no way I can change what is done. I spend lonely nights sometimes thinking about what I would do differently if I could do it all over again, but those thoughts are foolish and unproductive.
I look forward to a wonderful 2012 and hopefully I'll have time to update this blog the way I want to. It's very releasing getting all my stray thoughts out and onto here.
Here's to a great 2012!